Here are some of the wondrous MadLibs® Sarah and I did last night, while inebriated:
Today, we are going to study the lifestyle of huge and gum slicing animals. The word “dinosaur” comes from the Greek word deinos, meaning dehydrated colon and saurus, meaning rattling skull cavity. No one has ever seen a vaginally abrasive dinosaur. We know about them because flying D and Cs called paleontologists found their cirrhotic livers preserved in rocks. Dinosaurs were almost evenly divided between carnivores, who ate alarmingly fractured glass dildoes, and herbivores, who only ate neglected great grandmothers. At one time, there were over 336 different types of these futile beasts roaming the face of the prepubescent androgynous fatty. They ranged in size from those as large as a Tyrannosaurus Henry the Bug-eyed Fish to those as small as a swing used to pound the cervix. Today a dinosaur would be as impossible to find as a decaying condom left in a wallet too long in a haystack.
Although we believe ourselves to be red as a Thai boy’s butt thinkers, most of us really repeat thoughts first expressed by poets, writers, and zebra entrails many years ago. These thoughts are called proverbs. Here are a few covered in mung samples:
1. Behind every farm animal semen is a silver kitten urethra
2. Don’t look a grotesquely swollen horse in the yak placenta
3. Too many cooks donkey punch the nine-year-old owned by child molesters
4. A bird in the ruptured small intestine is worth two in the foreskin
5. Early to bed, early to abort, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and penilely flaccid.
6. Don’t count your triple testicles before they abuse you in the middle of the night.
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